Yet Another Rejection
I didn't make it into Emerge again this year. Two years ago I thought there was some work in there that was not nearly as good as mine, but there was plenty that was good, and plenty of good work that didn't make it. I am guessing that I will feel the same way about this year's show. I am a bit on pins and needles about Pilchuck now. Will they accept my piece for the show? I have pretty much decided not to go, even if they do accept the piece.
Still don't know whether or not I will continue doing the figure work. I need to evaluate whether or not the figures are essential to the piece. Taking a design class this fall will be helpful, especially combined with some artist critiques I intend to participate in.
The disappointment of Emerge was not unexpected, but it was still there. Right after I learned that I was rejected, I felt like such a loser. I look at other people's work and ask myself if it is that I am not working hard enough or if I just don't get it? Maybe my work is meant to just pile up in the basement budled together like Emily's packets of poems. Some folks seem to get there so fast, others never do....
Within two days I was sketching the next piece, but I can't say I didn't feel down. I had hoped that this time.... I still feel a bit like a loser, deep down. It isn't helping that work is such a downer right now. One thing I am working on with someone else is so not going well and it makes me feel angry and frustrated and resentful and a bit like I have failed. And it's not my fault I know.
Still don't know whether or not I will continue doing the figure work. I need to evaluate whether or not the figures are essential to the piece. Taking a design class this fall will be helpful, especially combined with some artist critiques I intend to participate in.
The disappointment of Emerge was not unexpected, but it was still there. Right after I learned that I was rejected, I felt like such a loser. I look at other people's work and ask myself if it is that I am not working hard enough or if I just don't get it? Maybe my work is meant to just pile up in the basement budled together like Emily's packets of poems. Some folks seem to get there so fast, others never do....
Within two days I was sketching the next piece, but I can't say I didn't feel down. I had hoped that this time.... I still feel a bit like a loser, deep down. It isn't helping that work is such a downer right now. One thing I am working on with someone else is so not going well and it makes me feel angry and frustrated and resentful and a bit like I have failed. And it's not my fault I know.
posted by Barbara Muth at 8:53 PM
1 Comments:
Hug, hug, hug. I know how you are feeling and you mustn't give up. It is too easy to get sucked into the external validation cycle and whatever you get externally IS NEVER ENOUGH. There is always someone else who got some other award, or praise, or recognition, or grant, or show or SOMETHING which seems to diminish our accomplishments. But your firgurative work is incredible. It is emotion and raw and real and delicately beautiful all at the same time.
What you need (and are patently ready for) is a gallery show of just your figurative. Be aggressive. Go out and find one! I don't know where to look or how to do it, but I just came from your Mostly Glass page and seeing the body of work you have there, it's ready for a solo show! Up the noses of the emerge judges!
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