Reflecting on Work

Last year I applied for and got a job I had wanted for a long time , as manager of the group that I worked in. We had a lot of changes that year. One colleague died, another left, and then the two of us who were left, stepped up a rung. The hiring was competitive, not a given. My role changed significantly, and it was a new role I had been itching to try on for a while. I was pretty sure, that as good as I am at designing and implementing evaluation, I would be tons better at managing and coaching evaluators. I was right. I am a very intuitive person. Most of my decisions are almost instinctual. I can read a resume, walk into my director's office and say "this is the woman you want to hire for that job." Three months later after interviewing many people, she hires the woman I picked. I had to hire two new staff almost immediately after my promotion and I found two amazing bright creative women to work on our team. No regrets.

I have had two big challenges, to step up and change my focus from "research research research always first and foremost" to "how can our unit support everyone else". It was tough, because frankly I am always right and I don't get how most people don't see that. And research should come first. (Tongue by the way - firmly planted in my cheek)

Today, two big things happened. I finished off a report from hades - an evaluation of a project I didn't do, a project that was less than well implemented. Our VP told me that I made a silk purse from a Sow's ears. He was pleased with the product. Always nice when a VP takes note. And then late in the day I learn that I am receiving an award from the organization for excellence. I told my director that I didn't think last year was even my best year. She said I was only focussing on what I had struggled with. To be honest, I can't think of one damned thing I accomplished last year. No products anyway. It was all about process and grieving and healing and rebuilding. So maybe I did something good.

It's a good thing I am doing well at the office because I got another rejection from a jury notice on Friday. I think I'll paper the walls of the studio with those letters. It didn't hurt, there are too many other things that are more important. A sister whose heart is breaking, a mother-in-law back in the hospital, getting my own back back in shape.

And I need to channel all that energy back into the studio. Maybe I'll get to it this weekend.... I 've missed it. That report consumed all my free time the last few weeks. I am so happy to be where I can finally refocus and start work on some of the wafers I need to make.

Okay, one last thought. Bruce and I have started watching Big Love. Oh my god. It has everything. I didn't think I could like it but I am totally sucked in. They didn't ignore the dark side of polygamy, but they sure found the light and the humor in it as well. With my luck it will get cut in a season....