Losing my grip on Technology...

A few days ago I woke up and realised that I had turned into my boss. I don't problem solve technology problems anymore, I ask someone else to do it for me. If I can't figure out how to do something in Powerpoint that I know it should do, I ask someone else to solve my problem. I always saw that in my boss as a sign that she was getting left behind technologically. Now that I find myself doing it, I begin to wonder if it isn't perhaps instead a sign that I am dropping the techie-guru role in my personal priorities. I don't need to solve the problem myself anymore.

Aging has suddenly become less comfortable. I am about to enter the fourth quadrant of my forties and every time I look in the mirror I see more evidence of aging. Not so much the wrinkles as the quality of my skin. Let's not even talk about all of the gray hair I hide. The after effect of a bike accident in my teens has emerged with a vengeance; arthritis in my spine and back muscles that don't want to relax. I get botox injections in the muscles of my back because they don't know how to relax. I know when it is going to rain because every f-ing joint in my body aches, from my toes to my knees to my back, my neck, my elbows and every joint in my hand (and there are tons!). So the fact that I am not on top of the game, that I have to cede the title of Queen of software problem solving to someone twenty years younger who works for me is somewhat disconcerting. (Not to mention that I haven't yet figured out how to deal internally with my not so new anymore role as boss.) And I really don't want to admit that it's really because I am slipping behind...

Fix -- Part Deux

Pulled my repaired guy from the kiln this morning. It took me three 27 hour firings to do:

• the first to tack the new elements in place with the glass face up;
• the second to slump the base over the tacked on elements face down; and
• the third firing to full fuse it all face down.

I slumped then full fused to make sure I wasn't trapping air. If I hadn't slumped enough after the second firing, I would have slumped again before full fusing it. I think the evidence of the break is gone....

However, the base doesn't have quite the same feeling as before, the new elements are crisper and less flowy because of the tack, slump, full steps I took. I had to do it that way to make sure I didn't distort the wafer. It might have been faster to remake the piece but then I would have thrown away all that glass.

I don't like the piece as much as before, but there isn't much I can do about that except make it over. It's too busy now. I added elements to mask the fact that I was repairing it, then added more elements to balance it. Now it feels less like contemplation and more like trying to figure out how to get everything done that has to get done today (my typical early morning contemplation on the drive into the office!). Maybe I will make him over.

Step one of the fix...

A 27 hour firing. I filled in the gap created by the break, then covered the lines with new elements. I took advantage of the moment to add a bit of white to the wafer as well. Tack fused everything together. Next step is to refire the piece to a full fuse face down.

Disaster....

Thermal shock on the way up after way too many efforts to make this piece work. Argh!


Proposed repair....